Every single night I want to delete this site. Part of this, I think, is because I am reflecting upon our year and thinking of how the rhythm of it felt wrong. Not solely because of my computer time - mostly because of a demanding two year old - but this is the one time drain I could easily eliminate. And partly, it has to do with privacy and my urge to hibernate for a while. To turn inward.
It is interesting to look back at the year and what has interested me. I think that maintaining this has been tremendously helpful in discerning the aspects of my faith that I want to incorporate in what we do. I think living the liturgical year is wonderful for those who are drawn to it. And I am one of those people. But I don't think practicing devotions should feel oppressive and distracting. The liturgical year is a wonderful gift, but it is complicated. There are a lot of saints out there! My sister alleviated some guilt I was feeling over this by explaining that not all means of practicing were meant for everyone and that is something is distracting me from Christ then I shouldn't participate in it.
I'm not sure exactly what I will do yet. As most of you probably know, writing a post isn't that time consuming, it is keeping up with everyone else's funny and informing online writing that takes up a larger percentage of computer time. And that's the harder part. So I think if I quit writing I would have to quit everything.
I honestly don't know where this is coming from, but as I look towards next year I want to simplify - to quiet our home - to establish a slower more peaceful rhythm for my children. And my husband deserves to come home to a peaceful and clean home. He works hard.
Again, I don't know what I will do. I am more posting this because I am wondering if anyone else feels this way.
Garden Update: I can't find our caterpillars. They both disappeared this afternoon. A bird, perhaps? I can't find any evidence of a chrysalis anywhere. Sigh. But there was this: