I made some changes last week to try and alleviate some of the anxiety I was feeling, which hit out of nowhere.
- Lesson plans were taking way too long to prepare. I would work on lesson plans on Friday and Saturday. With interruptions, it would take hours and if I happened to be occupied on Friday, which happens lot, I would be behind for days. And in a very foul mood about it. Solution: I came up with a brilliant new lesson planning system and finished plans for the year. (I intend to write more about this because I'm so happy about it).
- History was a giant burden. Solution: I threw money at this problem and despite the fact that I owned the Story of the World book, I downloaded the mp3 from Peace Hill Press. Now I pop it in the CD player during commutes and check history off the list.
- IEW was not being done as it should be because I couldn't supervise. And I wanted to focus on the papacy right now. Solution: Drop the formal IEW program and use the principles in the Student Resource Guide to do write a biography of Pope Benedict and a paper on the process of choosing a new pope. We have many resources stashed around the house and everyone should check out this website; Electing the Pope. We're probably all a little ignorant because it just doesn't happen that often.
- Internet shopping for everything. I abandoned all attempts at shopping in a store. If I happen to pick something up while we're out, fine. But anything that matters has to be done online. It also needs to be done quickly. I can't tell you how much time I waste filling up a shopping cart then letting it sit in a window for days while I try to justify the expense of whatever. Then I find myself in a pinch paying too much for that same whatever. I have been forcing myself to be more decisive.
- Nursing the baby to sleep for every nap and all night long. Sigh. I don't know. On the one hand, I love it. On the other, I have two other children, a husband, and a house to care for. Solution: We (dramatic pause)... we bought a crib. Whether I'll actually be able to put the baby in it is another question.
- Walk, walk, walk. I've been taking long walks to calm myself. The baby falls asleep and I can pray and think.
- The commute. To everything. Solution: We need to move. I'm not particularly attached to our home but I'm not quite feeling up to the task of selling and purchasing a house. But it feels like we are coming to the end of the road here. Some things that I desperately wanted fell into place last year; that blessed third child, a parish we love... is a home that feels like home possible? I honestly haven't dared to hope just yet.