This post may offend some of you.

As a blogger, I carefully choose what I do and do not write about.  But I am agitated to the point that I can no longer hold my tongue (in cheek).  I'm not talking about McCain or Obama.  I'm talking about Twilight.   I read this series of books rather quickly over the summer during my broken toe weeks.  It came highly recommended!  It was a bestseller!  It was awful!  Just awful.  I don't have any problem with adults reading children's literature.  I am a wee bit puzzled as to why this series is all the rage when it is so poorly written (I say, fully aware of the proverbial plank in my eye).  The entire plot of this "love story" seems to be:

"You smell good."

"No, no, you smell good."

"Let's not kiss, even though we really want to, for 350 pages or so."

"Awesome!"

The actual writing read like a high school girl's diary - which perhaps was intentional but that makes it no less obnoxious when presented as a novel.  I was once a high school girl.  I know what I'm talking about here. 

But most puzzling is how so many women in the blogosphere and even more moms in the stands of my daughter's gym are swooning over Edward.  Has no one noticed that his character is 17 years old?  Ew?  And, OK, OK counter that with, "He's not really seventeen, he's really over a hundred."  Again I say to you, EW!  It's just a bit odd to me that it is so socially acceptable for grown women with children and stretch marks and crow's feet to be squealing (yes really!) over this teenage vampire.  Gag.

Especially when you consider that there are plenty of imaginary adult characters from children's literature that are completely swoon worthy.

I present Exhibit A:

Be still my heart.   

(And wow, I can't seem to shrink that photo.  My apologies if it is gigantically huge - oh, who am I kidding?  You're welcome.) ;)

I have no problem with the people who like these books - far be it from me to criticize people's taste in literature - I take pride in my fully stocked Dave Barry library.  I just wanted to say for the record, I do not like these books.  And now that I've said my piece I can get on with my life.

Comments

[KC]

The picture didn't show up on my browser. I haven't read the book but some of the ballet moms have recommended them.

[Charlotte (Matilda)]

My husband says that if you like Dave Barry, you might also like Patrick McManus and Robert Benchley. I looked into the Twilight series awhile back and I couldn't see what the excitement was. Oh, and I couldn't see the pic either. Who is it?

[stef]

I see the picture, but sorry, Jen, not my type, LOL. I recently told my hubby in front of the kids, "I just realized I have a thing for guys with long blonde hair -- e.g., Legolas, Lucius Malfoy." His response? "Too late." LOL. Anyway. I don't see the appeal of Twilight either (so I haven't read them, but do I have to???) -- my dd's friends are just SWOOOONING over them. Ugh. Glad she's not taken in.

[Theresa]

Don't hold back, Jenn. Tell us what you really think!LOL!
Guess I'll cross that one off my "to read" list. Not that it was ever on my list. But now it REALLY isn't on it.
Shutting up now.

[Margaret in Minnesota]

I'm with you on the _Twilight_ books but we are not in accord about that hairy guy. Who is he, anyway?

[Karen Edmisten]

Sirius Black, people! The picture is Sirius Black, and any woman in her right mind would take adult Sirius over glittery Edward (sorry, you have to read the book to get the glitter thing, but don't read the book. I actually didn't even get as far as the glitter thing ....)

Jenn, Anne-with-an-e and I are completely with you here! We both tried to read Twilight and quit halfway through, if that. We laughed together over an Amazon review that summed it up this way:

"I met Edward. Oh, his mesmerizing eyes! I made dinner for my dad. I got into mortal danger. Edward saved me. Oh, his eyes! I made dinner for my dad. And, oh! Edward's eyes!"

I don't get the books' popularity either.

[Margaret in Minnesota]

Ah. Well, that explains it. I've read the book but not seen the movie version.

Yet.

[Jennifer]

Oh Karen - I KNEW you would get it - you always do.

[Juli]

Haven't read the book, but heard women raving over reading all four books twice in one week, my 13 year old niece and her mother (my sister) are also reading the series right now. I guess I'm just not into vampires.

[Caroline]

I'm not interested in the book, but your post made me laugh.

We'll have to agree to disagree on Sirius's hotness. ;)

But we'll agree over our love of Dave Barry books.

[Kathy]

SWOON worthy? Seriously?

[Jennifer]

Siriusly! Is it just ME? Clearly this post proves "To Each His Own".

[Mark]

What bothers me is how little it means in those books to be a vampire. The concept of vampirism is deep and meaningful, full of lots of potential for drama and horror, and these books gut it. It costs nothing. There's no horror in it, just... glitter.

/geek rage.

[LeAnn Thompson]

Wow and Amen.... I read the first book, wasn't all that thrilled, but as an educator if I can get teenage girls to read I'm good with whatever it is (almost!)

[12ontheinside]

I haven't read the Twilight books either, and am glad I haven't, if the writing is that bad.
Sirius, you must admit, does look like he needs a good wash and a haircut.

[Tabatha]

I just finished Breaking Dawn today. The series is my daughter (age 13)'s *favorite*, and it has made one of her best friends (a non-reader) read a 600 page book in 4 days. I have been doing a lot of thinking about the books because they are such a phenomenon. Bella doesn't really come into her own until the third section of the fourth book, so I can see how early Bella would be troubling/grating. I can also see Edward's appeal to girls/women -- he is gorgeous with superhuman abilities and his whole being is focused on loving one ordinary human...I think the Edward-lovers like the idea that an ordinary girl would appeal to someone so extraordinary, not to mention that he (and Jacob for that matter) would be so completely faithful. But even recognizing their appeal, I'm still blown away by how hot these books are.

[Tabatha]

P.S. I'm with you on Sirius Black.

[Jennifer]

Tabitha, I see Edward's appeal to *girls* not so much to women. And what you address about him liking a very ordinary girl is well taken, but it just seems the attraction is based almost solely on how she smells. That's me simplifying things a bit, admittedly.

[Tabatha]

I agree with you about the attraction being based on how she smells, but I think that is actually part of the appeal for young readers -- Bella doesn't have to DO anything to make him like her, just be herself. She is "Chosen," which is actually a big theme in children's literature anyway (the hero/ine who is born to do something). I think the werewolf "imprint" idea goes along with this -- that there are people who are destined to be together. I haven't actually given any thought to women who like Edward; I have just been thinking about teens. I have had some sympathy for teen boys who aren't quite sure how to compete.

[cici]

I just discovered your blog and I think I'll waste no time in commenting. I just checked twilight out of the library to see what all the fuss is about...do I even waste my time??? oh the decisions...

and thanks for adding to my ravelry cue. i mean, really, don't you think i have enough to do?

oh. yes. definitely a worthwhile swoon.

[{heather}]

I am 37, LOVED the books and read all four of them in one week. I think her (Stephanie Meyer)writing is very easy to read, it flows nicely which is what helped me to read all of those HUGE books that quickly. At first I didn't think I was going to like the whole idea of vampires, blah, blah, blah. Most vampire novels are kinda cheesy. But in this series I dont feel that same weird/sci-fi/Count Dracula connection, which is nice. Edward is very "swoony" and I think its because of how mature he is. In my own opinion, Bella comes across as your typical teenage girl while, Edward, well, all I can say is read the book. ;) I cant wait for the movie. Alot of people will either totally love this series or hate it. I am a lover and have an OCD: Obsessive Cullen Disorder! LOL.. :)

[Alicia]

I, too, loved the books. I'd read almost no fiction for years and these books reminded me of how much I love a good love story. Yes, at times it can be a little much. But I like books with sweet romantic lines. I like love at first sight. I like sappy. I fell in love that way and it worked for me. Never thought I'd read vampire books, but these captured me.

[Michele Q.]

Great post Jennifer. Have you read Maureen Wittmann's review of Twilight? http://maureenwittmann.blogspot.com/2008/09/review-twilight.html

I had my 16 yr. old read it since he's read the books (before I knew what they were about and because a friend I trusted recommended them). He's reading Dracula now and it's sparked some good conversations.
:-)
I haven't read the Twilight books and I don't intend to but I am glad to see someone else talking about it.

Thanks!

[Erin Mc]

Gary Oldman, in full Sirius Black costume, is good looking IMHO! I do think he looks better when you see him in action in the HP movies. He is an incredible actor!

Speaking of vampires, he is the one who played Dracula in Francis Ford Coppola's, "Bram Stoker's Dracula" in 1992. For all you vampire lovers, I am surprised you don't think he is dreamy!!! :)

After reading several reviews, I have decided NOT to let my 12 year old daughter read them. She has been asking me for some time and I am glad I waited to read other opinions first. I will read the books at some point.

Thank you for your help!