as cozy as spring

Called Home

My grandmother died on Sunday.  

She grew up picking cotton in the fields of west Texas during the Dust Bowl and Depression.  I imagine that there are not many who had a tougher childhood, at least in America.  She had an amazing sense of humor, generosity, and ability to care for us.  She taught me to scrub my kitchen floors by hand and to make the beds with hospital corners.  

Most of all though, she taught me to garden.  My grandfather grew the vegetables but she loved the flowers.  We bonded over azure colored asters and orchids.  Don Juan roses growing up her chain link fence.  Confetti colored impatiens spilling over her sunshine yellow wheelbarrow.  A sea of purple larkspurs in her back bed from which she gathered the seeds for me, dried in a little ziploc baggie.  "How is your yard?", she would ask when she saw me.  "Dry and hot, Mema", I would say through the summer months and she knew.

I've thought about her nonstop for days, and for days prior to her death.  I saw her suffer greatly towards the end and didn't know why.  I'm sad from time to time obviously, but I'm also so darn busy being grateful that I was blessed enough to be influenced by this person.  Only after her earthly life broke away did I see what remained in all of us left behind. It's far more than I ever realized. 

I'll be visiting with family for the next few days.  Farewell, friends.

In Threes

 

A summer knit for 'round the campfire!  This is an easy, quick knit and fits very nicely.  I knit the 0-6 month size because the pattern is written for a roomy fit.  The yarn is Spud and Chloe Sweater in 'Moonlight' knit on US 6 circulars.  I reallyreallyreally like the finished knit.  I took a gray-striped t-shirt from my older daughter (which she had outgrown) and cut it down into a baby dress to wear with the cardigan.  The fit isn't bad, but I still have a hard time gathering knit fabric.  Fortunately, I have loads of old t-shirts on which to practice! 

(Yes, I got the grass out of her mouth before she ate it.)

I'm hoping to work on the children's end of the year folders this afternoon!  This is such a great idea from Sarah!  I interviewed them with pictures on the first day of school this year and then again last week.  It's a nice way to gather together all we've done this year.  I think they will love them and it really lets me see how much we accomplished.  I can't figure out a way to post any of it since I don't post the children's faces here (a policy that works for me and one I also loathe because y'all, they are really cute kids).  

Saturday Morning Book Post

Thank you for all the birthday wishes and prayers for our daughter.  We're so deeply grateful.

It's been ages since I've written a book post so here's what we're reading right now.

Let's start with my 12 yo daughter: I'm reading The Sign of the Beaver to her.  We've read two other Elizabeth George Speare works this year so when Lissa mentioned this one was only $1.99 on Kindle, I made that our next read aloud.  I'm super happy my not-so-little girl still lets me read to her.  I can sometimes even get her to clean her room while I read.  Nice!  Recently, I listened to Andrew Pudewa's talk... Nurturing Competent Communicators, I think.  I've listened to a lot of them lately whilst ironing or sewing.  Anyway, it stressed the importance of reading aloud to older children as well and so I made a commitment to continue.

She's just finished binge reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.  I normally encourage moderation and balance in my children's days, emphasizing fresh air and exercise but when it comes to Harry Potter, I completely understood her holing up in her room for two days until she finished.  She kept coming up to me with big eyes.  "I know!"  I would say, as I vividly remember emailing Karen Edmisten with a "That did NOT just happen".  And she would shake her head and disappear for another hour or so.  Such fun.

My 8 yo son and I finished reading The Hobbit and we've happily returned to picture books.  I was going through picture book withdrawal.  I haven't even begun to map out what I might read with a growing little boy but I'm excited for those days.  I so enjoyed Milly-Molly-Mandy and A Little Princess with my daughter.  It seems a whole new world awaits me!

The baby!  I've honestly been pretty lazy about reading to her.  Lately, she grabs the book out of my hands and stuffs it in her mouth.  She does enjoy Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You? and Miffy in the Snow.

Me: Yikes.  Not much.  I was hoping for a little organizational motivation as I work on the children's rooms so I tried Shed Your Stuff, Change Your Life by Julie Morgenstern, whose advice I usually find sound.  It's good, but I think maybe more geared towards professionals?  I'm not sure yet.  There's a lot of good stuff in there but I'm having to translate it to apply a stay at homeschooling mom.  

It's weirdly cool and pleasant out there for mid June.  We harvested onions yesterday and are pulling the potatoes this morning.  I'm meal planning and also making school plans for next year because yup, we decided to continue homeschooling!  There's nowhere to go but up from the last two years!

Y'all have a happy weekend!

 

(These are Amazon Associate links about which I am mildly conflicted, but y'all have no idea how happy those occasional tiny gift cards make my husband so um.  Click on them when you go to order something! If you feel like it!  No pressure!  Unless you are related to me in which case, lots of pressure!)

One.

In a dark, quiet room one year ago (yesterday), we welcomed our precious third child.  A mere twenty minutes after arriving at the hospital, she was delivered by my husband and one nurse.  She was our earliest and tiniest baby. I repeated over and over, "Can I hold her?"  And I did, right away. I looked into her eyes as she lay on my chest.  My doctor walked in and I was laughing as I signed the 'consent for delivery' form with a baby in my arms.

Thus began the happiest year of my life.  I thought I was broken.  I struggled with depression and anxiety for years.  I thought it was a part of me and would never leave, but it is gone now.  It feels simplistic to say that she healed me, but not a day went by when I wasn't overwhelmed by the feeling that there was one more soul meant to join us.

 

She's here now and everything is better.   

I took at least one photo of our daughter each day of her first year.  I did, regrettably, miss a few days here and there.  Those missing pictures tell more about her year than the those I took though; about the fast pace and exhaustion that accompanied her entrance into our family.  It wasn't ever easy but it was always joyful.  I've actually organized them (like it's DONE, high five) in a Blurb book for her first birthday present.  We have so much to look forward to.  Happy birthday to our darling baby.

Cloth Diapering at (almost) a Year

Summer baby in cloth diaper + cheapo Gerber cotton t-shirt = my most favorite baby outfit ever. 

(I'm going to try to be frank but delicate here.)  My biggest fear concerning cloth diapering was solid foods.  Even the worst an exclusively breastfed baby can dish out is pretty harmless.  Now we are on the other side and really, it's no big deal.  I know they make special sprayers that attach to the toilet for a prewash but I think the jet stream on a hose in a discreet corner of the the backyard is easier and cheaper.  

Here's my stash at one year:

3 Bum Genius 4.0s with hemp inserts and a few inserts recycled from outgrown prefolds.  Honestly, if everything is clean and available, I reach for the 4.0s first.  They feel dry longer so they work when frequent changing is more challenging.  These are great for Mass.  I like the recycled inserts more than the hemp.  The hemp holds a lot of moisture and consequently takes forever to dry even in the dryer.

2 Bum Genius Elementals - They are OK.  They take a good bit of time to dry as well and feel just as wet as a prefold so I don't really see any advantage in using them over a prefold. 

8 Green Mountain Diapers Prefolds - She's actually outgrown these.  I am waiting on some prefolds from Cotton Babies - 2 Chinese and 2 Indian to see which fit her bottom best.

2 Thirsties covers - Great covers.  No complaints.  Prefold + cover is still my favorite everyday diapering combination.

Snappis- My first set is holding up well.  

Handknit Wool Soaker - This is my favorite cover over a prefold. Wool is magical and keeps her so much drier to touch. 

A note that my husband pretty much refuses to use the cloth diapers and he is in charge of the bedtime routine so he uses Pampers for overnight and I'm 100% OK with it.  I don't even care.  The cost is minimal for overnight/emergency disposables.  Furthermore, because I can wash the whole lot every night I can keep my stash relatively small. 

Restyled

I've been hitting the children's closets hard this week.  Parting with their outgrown clothing is always difficult for me, but it has to be done.  I cannot keep several bins of baby clothes PER CHILD solely for sentimental reasons.

Getting around this, I've been sorting into 3 piles: keep, sell/donate, and restyle.  It's a gold mine of fabric, buttons, and lining.  And so much more rewarding than buying new stuff.  First up was a newer purchase that needed a simple fix.  I love those body doubles from the Gap and my favorite for the baby still fit but was long sleeved.  It is now June in Texas, we have little need for sleeves.  I fretted over getting rid of it and then remembered I spent loads of time last year learning to sew knits. In all of ten minutes, I shortened the sleeves and hemmed them with a twin needle and voila!  A summer outfit perfect for scooting around the house.

I'm hoping to sew up a few tee + short sets this weekend for the baby's birthday.  I have some jersey set aside, but I'm also taking a good look at our stash of receiving blankets.  This has made a daunting task much more fun.  It's like a treasure hunt.

(P.S. I desperately want to just be rid of all this stuff and donate it somewhere but my husband insists on trying to sell.  Any opinions on resale shop vs. (gulp) garage sale?)

First Week at Home

Remnants of my daughter's bouquets from her spring performance.  Another good year completed.

Experimenting with lemon bars.  So far the whole lemon recipe in the Smitten Kitchen cookbook is the winner, but summer hasn't even really started yet.  (The one from her website, adapted from an Ina recipe was not as good, but I admittedly botched several steps.)

Parlsey flowers.  This photo is from early this week, they are now covered in caterpillars.  I love parlsey flowers.

Professor Noggin Cards - I could entertain myself for years just hanging around the house but the children aren't there yet.  These saved us yesterday afternoon.  I expect them to be in heavy rotation this summer.

And tentatively putting my toe in the water(just enough to see that this is way over my head and a class in beginning smocking will be necessary)... In honor of one of my favorite people I've met through the internet as she (sob) closes her blog this week.  Cheryl has been an inspiration to me for years and I'm so grateful for all our conversations and the encouragement she has given me.

\

This dress, made by Cheryl for our so dearly prayed for baby girl, is on the things-to-grab-in-a-fire list and I hope to one day see it on my granddaughters.  

Have a lovely weekend, friends! 

Sunrise with Francis Meilland

I prefer wild over cultivated when it comes to flowers but could not be more smitten with my new addition to the garden. 

Summer is settling in here and it's been amazing so far.  I'm going to the grocery store and preparing meals for my children.  The baby has the opportunity to nap.  The house is clean.  I am even sitting down from time to time.  It gives me a little stomach ache to think of how much more smoothly our lives run without extracurricular activities to stress me through the day and eat up our family time in the evenings.  I'm the mom I desperately want to be without them.  This should be a comforting realization but it's not.  It makes going forward much more troubling, especially as the demands are only going to escalate as the children grow.

But for now, I'm going to put those thoughts on the back burner and enjoy the heck out of this summer.  I normally shun the pinterest world, but to bear the Texas summers we need as many pinteresting ideas as I can summon.  Ice cream cakes, campfires, tie-dye, water balloons, and dew kissed garden roses.  

Morning Blackberries

Every now and then I wonder if blogging isn't just a giant waste of time for someone like me who (look away, husband) has no interest in monetizing.  But it makes me so happy to see the same posts appear year after year.  Today, I waited patiently for my son to awaken and led him sleepily out into the garden.  That big smile spread on his face as he saw the first handful of ripe blackberries.  His favorite day in the garden.

(1/125, F 4, ISO 200)

'Mama, I think I'm going to go back to bed with my blackberries and my comic book.'

I love everything about that little boy.

Joining Sarah for Manual Mode Monday- I really worked hard on staying in manual mode all weekend and took some horrendous photos!  It's hard to constantly adjust (very quickly) at a party and think that probably a party calls for aperature priority mode because I miss too much fiddling with the settings.  

Around the House.

In the Schoolroom: We finished math a couple of weeks ago and have little motivation to wrap up the rest of the year. We have a bit of grammar and reading comprehension left, along with a lot of history but no one cares at this point.  On the other hand, I've been in deep thought about next year.  I've been listening to a bunch of podcasts via IEW whilst I sew or iron my husband's work clothes and the children play outside.  I had mapped out what I think is a beautiful and balanced year and then this weekend my husband said, "Put them in school."

The fact is that this year has been really hard.  I'm happier than I have ever been but I'm also overwhelmed and exhausted.  When I was begging God for a baby the past 7 years, I forgot to specify 'pleasant demeanor' or 'sleeps from time to time'.  We did receive one of the sweetest, most beautiful babies ever but she is challenging. We also rocked the whole attachment parenting thing and she is keen to be attached to me at all hours of the day and night.  I'm not bothered by it enough to change anything but I cannot be as present as I would like when it comes to my children's education.

But on the other other hand, they are OK, thriving even.  I've received numerous good reports from all outside sources.  My son, who I think desperately needs more guidance, is reading The Hobbit to me now, which I think is a good accomplishment for an 8 year old.  He's taught himself multiplication.  My 12yo is teaching herself Latin far beyond what I can comprehend.  So am I dropping the ball completely or raising independent learners?  Can you see the merry-go-round in my mind?  It is frantic and flashing and  I want someone to take my hand and just tell me what to do.

In the Garden: Still slow going!  It's been downright pleasant for May.  The summer heat has yet to set in and I'm bewildered by it all.  The berries are still our most promising mini-crop.  Of note: Lizards - everywhere.  Big giant lizards.  I'm fascinated.  I've seen a huge increase in population all over the neighborhood.  Was it the warm winter?  Curious.  They are too quick for me to get an ID but I'm on the lookout.

In the Kitchen: Tamale Pie for Mother's Day from the Make Ahead Cook's Illustrated (Good issue, recommended).  Lemon Bars from Ina for my sister's visit.  

In the Car: Lots and lots.  Ballet and baseball wrap up in the next couple of week, praise God.  I get my evenings back!  Family dinners and post family dinner family walks!  And post family dinner-walks-read alouds.  We are all on board for my husband to read us The Lord of the Rings books this summer.  One of the happy developments from having a fussy little baby is that he took over some of the evening read aloud time and he's such a pleasant reader. 

 Mother's Day bouquet, carnations from church (my son participated in May Crowning, sniff, sniff) and flowers from the garden.  I got a baseball glove, y'all, so I can play catch with my boy.  I never thought I'd be so happy to get a baseball glove as a gift.  :)  OK, gotta go.  This post received only a cursory proofread so forgive all typos, friends.